MUST READ : With Love From Computer Village [Episode 2]

 Episode 2

Back in late 2006 -around october I think- I was still very much a recruit in the Yoruba language having my roots from Onitsha where I originally was born, grew up living, and even schooled. It wasn't a new thing anymore to have goods (electronics) bought for a particular amount and within split seconds, those goods would cost about 75% less if they're are to be returned to the person who initially sold the electronics. 

Let me make it a little bit clearer. 

There was this one time my father went to an Electronics market to buy a Radio with a CD player as Cassettes were currently becoming outdated but were still very much in use. He got the player for N5,550 that's Five thousand, Five hundred and Fifty Naira; on his way back he realised the Player only had a Radio and a CD player with no option for Cassette playing. He had wished to buy a CD player alone on the onset, but regarding that we had very few CDs and so many Cassettes containing his favourite songs, he decided to return the newly bought player straight to the Merchant who sold it to him requesting for a Player that could play him all the cassettes, CDs and still tune in to his favourite stations every morning. 

 "Oga, I cannot colekt d playa you just butt o" 

I'm sure that's how the fellow would have sounded. 

My dad was shocked. Still holding the Player and the receipt in his right and left hands respectively, He decided to act like an elderly person probably asking : 

"Okay, my son, how I go do am now"

Well, going by what the merchant told him, He can only sell the Player back to him (the merchant) for a negotiable price starting with N500 minimum bargaining margin.

My dad was shocked and ended up bringing the player home hoping the cassettes era goes into oblivion quicker than expected.

This and many more occurrences are what gave me an edge towards the quick understanding of how things are run in Computer Village. 

As the humble sales rep I am *wink* I always try to make sure whoever I sell to doesn't have any cause to come back asking for a refund of his money or a change of phone because I'll test it to his possible satisfaction making sure one of the parties is smiling if not both i.e either we're both smiling or one of us is in order to prevent ugly situations such as the one I illustrated about my father above. 

But some customers just can't be helped but duped!

Its in their genes to fall for very simple tricks and tweaks applied by some of us in the famous Computer Village. Such as buying a phone complaining 'Low battery' and still taking it home to buy the best of batteries fully-charged only for the phone to keep complaining 'Low battery'.

Now that kind of phone doesn't have any explanation (or repair) to it except that it suffers from 'LOW SELF-ESTEEM'

Such a buyer would storm Computer Village raging with anger and disgust, going straight to the seller of the phone to complain bitterly about his ordeal explaining how the amount he has used in buying batteries is almost the same amount he used in buying the 'handicapped' Phone.

This once happened to a Yoruba Customer and believe me, it wasn't funny. I tried my possible best to comprehend what the Man was trying to tell me. He kept repeating "fonu mi ko sharge" "Fonu mi ko sharge se " 

He was angry and I felt the best thing to do at this instance is to 'shinggard' Him.

Quickly I called on an associate to commence the 'shinggarding' process. 

Shinggarding is the act of Wrapping between a bigger denomination note, ridiculously smaller denomination notes to make it look puffy. e.g. If I fold three N5 notes and then wrap it with a N100 naira note, It makes it look like it all consists of N100 notes only. 

Now this particular associate is a master In the 'Shinggarding' act and quickly he had 'shinggarded' a N1000 note. The fellow felt leveraged and left onwards, dropping the phone on the floor in disgust as he walked on while I simply bent down and picked up the shatters smiling.

0 Comments, Replies, Suggestions, Yarns: