Who likes a conversational rambler?
Not I, and others I am sure, suffer them very painfully! I was
at a networking event the other evening and I got waylaid in the middle of the room by a man who just loved his own voice and talked and talked all about himself and
took no interest in me or anything I had to say.
I tried to give him the signals to
end the conversation, but he didn’t pick up on any of them. How self centred! One of a parent’s most important tasks is teaching children how to communicate effectively and politely.
The assumption that a child learns
effective communication skills without adult input is a misnomer. Whilst in the womb, scientific evidence identifies that the growing child is receptive to communication via touch and sound.
Therefore from birth, parents should begin teaching their children basic communication skills and continue to sharpen their child’s skills as the child
matures.
This is essential, because
communicating well with others is a
basic principal of society.
Conversing daily with children
reinforces the model of basic
communication skills. It can take the guise of polite conversation asking about their day, feelings and activities.
This will lay a foundation for good communication later in life. Anyone who is a custodian of children should have an ultimate goal to nurture that child.
Ultimately raising one who converse respectfully and courteously. An
attentive child who listens to what
others have to say, and who is able to clearly express his or her own thoughts, ideas and opinions. In some nations, e.g
Nigeria, Africa, the culture doesn’t lend to this at all. Children should still be seen and not heard.
Peggy Post, the author of Emily Post’s Etiquette, lists 5 basics of
communication that child carers and
parents should teach to their kids.
These follow;
1) Make eye contact.
It is important
that children are taught to
establish eye contact with the.
person with whom
they are speaking
Aforementioned,
that many nations do not want.
there child looking in their eyes. of adults
(preferring that they look down at
their feet with hands at their
side whilst talking to an adult).
But when you look directly at
the other person in the
conversation it shows interest.
Children should be taught that
looking
away is a sign of disinterest and
is not becoming.
2) Use clear and correct speech
Non use of slang, pacing speech
and using good grammar are all
aspects of communication that
child carers should
show as an example F̶̲̥̅̊☺R̶̲̥̅̊
children.
Show them the right way with
love, it should
be done without mocking or
embarrassing the child.
Correcting mistakes in front of
others may cause a child to
feel self-conscious, inhibiting
their speech in public.
3). Encourage taking in turns to
speak and don’t interrupt or
b*tt in whilst the
other is talking. Train them
not to jump into a conversation
just because they
feel like talking.
It is important that this
behaviour is nipped in the
bud! Teach the child self-
control.
When a child interrupts, you should stop their conversation, firmly tell the interrupting child to wait their turn, and then pick-up the conversation where they left off.
4) If you show good listening skills to children, it is the best way that they will learn it. Whenever you converse with children, listen attentively and repeat key phrases back to the child so that they feel heard.
You may ask questions of the child and allow them to respond. Face the child; this shows an interest in what they have to say.
Note, that the best conversationalists are those who listen well (unlike the man I was stuck with at the networking
event)!
5) There is a correct way to join a conversation which displays good
manners. Child carers and parents
should consistently demonstrate how to politely enter a conversation.
Demonstrate how to quietly approach a group , smile to those in conversation, listen to what people are saying, and wait until they are spoken to before speaking., children will learn the
practice.
Teach children how to behave politely when another child joins an active group conversation they are holding. Those in the group should smile and nod to recognise the person joining them, when the speaker finishes, the group can
greet the newcomer and make
introductions.
Always end conversations pleasantly.
Walking away from a conversation with good displayed manners is a crucial skill to possess. Encourage children to leave a conversation with pleasantries, saying , e.g. “I want to join my sister, you can join me if you please?” and if the invite is declined then ending with, ”
It was really nice talking to you.”
Additionally, other skills that should be focussed on when teaching children basic communication are reducing the
volume of their voice (if they tend to shout constantly), not to disclose “ household secrets” and keeping private matters.
Encourage understanding of non-
verbal communication and body
language (also learning how to read
other people’s non-verbal cues) as well as being mindful of the ones they are letting off, is an important lesson too.
Using facial expressions like frowning or eye rolling. Or, yawning openly to show boredom, plugging the ears with fingers denoting that they are not listening to what you have to say, turning one’s back to the speaker, are all bad manners and can make people
feel bad.
Care givers, teachers and parents
should start nurturing in the child
conversation skills early, they will help children develop honed communication skills that will benefit them greatly from childhood and lifelong.
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